It never dawned on me that I was getting ill but what was happening to me was very real. Living in a world of make-believe I was convinced my imaginary visions were genuine. I had delusions of grandeur thinking I was all-powerful and the centre of everything. But I was not a monster; I was a lost soul. My story involves a struggle with mania and depression in the context of my life in England and France. How despite my handicap I held down a job abroad for 8 years and how after 8 years of marriage to a Frenchman I supported my daughter as a single parent. My memoir gives insight into living with mental illness. It is an autobiography concerned with memories of childhood adolescence and adulthood.