Alanatomy

<p><b>It must seem strange to you that I've called a book <i>Alanatomy</i>. </b><br>For anyone who has taken the time to see my stand-up performances or watched my chat show 'Chattyman' knows that my body has hardly been kind to me - in fact there've been times when we've actually stopped talking to each other. Balding myopic often flaky with psoriasis back fat that hangs suspended like a cape a voice that could strip varnish an increasingly dodgy hip and even dodgier teeth. Why would you draw attention to it? you must ask. Couldn't you just call the book something else? Do you think the Great British Public is ready to pore over your body? </p><p>Well as I turn forty and take stock of my showbiz life over the last ten years or so I have learnt to embrace my flaws and face my shortcomings. In fact strange as it might seem the things I hate about myself have become my trademark and I am slowly begrudgingly learning to if not love them to at least live with them. I am ready now to take a long hard look at myself and that's what <i>Alanatomy</i> is. It's the story of my rise to fame: the joys the traumas the parties the disappointments. Hopefully you will find it witty fun heartwarming but more importantly honest and that it will keep you entertained every time you pick it up. </p><p><i>Alanatomy</i> is the chance for you to get beneath my skin and see the real me because and to continue the anatomical theme if I may this showbiz existence can sometimes feel like an autopsy - picked at probed and scrutinized with every inch of your body held up for analysis but unlike an actual autopsy you are very much alive. </p><p><b>So I give you <i>Alanatomy: The Inside Story</i>. I am laying myself out on the slab for your entertainment; naked stripped bare. Grab your scalpel peel back the skin and go deep have a good old probe around at my life so far. Yes you are going to find guts a fair bit of cheek maybe even a little bit of gristle but hopefully you'll find a whole lot of heart.</b></p>