Bill The Vampire

<p><strong style=background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)>THERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE NIGHT. HE'S NOT ONE OF THEM.</strong></p><p></p><p><span style=background-color: rgba(255 255 255 1); color: rgba(49 49 49 1)>My name's Bill and I have no life but not because I enjoy video games or D&D. I literally have no heartbeat thanks to the night I met Sally. She was too good to be true a woman worth dying for. So I did.</span></p><p></p><p><span style=background-color: rgba(255 255 255 1); color: rgba(49 49 49 1)>Problem is I didn't stay dead.</span></p><p></p><p><span style=background-color: rgba(255 255 255 1); color: rgba(49 49 49 1)>Now I'm a vampire surrounded by undead freaks who are stronger and faster than me - not to mention better looking. It's enough to give a guy a complex. Worse their leader a douche-canoe called Night Razor hates my guts.</span></p><p></p><p><span style=background-color: rgba(255 255 255 1); color: rgba(49 49 49 1)>It might be because he can't control me or maybe it's because he's a dick. Whatever the case he's given me just ninety days to prove I'm not an embarrassment to his coven.</span></p><p></p><p><span style=background-color: rgba(255 255 255 1); color: rgba(49 49 49 1)>If I fail my ass is toast. Too bad my friends are more interested in setting me on fire while Sally's using me as her personal stepstool in the vamp hierarchy.</span></p><p></p><p><span style=background-color: rgba(255 255 255 1); color: rgba(49 49 49 1)>Things don't look good. I might be a blood-sucking predator of the night but I'm still at the bottom of the food chain.</span></p><p></p><p>----------</p><p></p><p><em style=color: rgba(49 49 49 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)>Bram Stoker</em><span style=color: rgba(49 49 49 1); background-color: rgba(255 255 255 1)> meets </span><em style=color: rgba(49 49 49 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)>Shaun of the Dead</em><span style=color: rgba(49 49 49 1); background-color: rgba(255 255 255 1)> in </span><em style=color: rgba(49 49 49 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)>The Tome of Bill</em><span style=color: rgba(49 49 49 1); background-color: rgba(255 255 255 1)> the hilarious horror comedy series that will keep you laughing from dusk till dawn.</span></p><p></p><p><span style=color: rgba(49 49 49 1); background-color: rgba(255 255 255 1)>If you're a fan of </span><em style=color: rgba(49 49 49 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)>Hunter Blain</em><span style=color: rgba(49 49 49 1); background-color: rgba(255 255 255 1)> </span><em style=color: rgba(49 49 49 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)>Steve McHugh</em><span style=color: rgba(49 49 49 1); background-color: rgba(255 255 255 1)> </span><em style=color: rgba(49 49 49 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)>Christopher Moore</em><span style=color: rgba(49 49 49 1); background-color: rgba(255 255 255 1)> or </span><em style=color: rgba(49 49 49 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)>What We Do in the Shadows</em><span style=color: rgba(49 49 49 1); background-color: rgba(255 255 255 1)> this vampire comedy will leave you thirsting for more.</span></p><p></p><p><span style=background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)>Content Warning: adult language violence gore sexual situations sophomoric humor</span></p>