David Letterman's New Book of Top Ten Lists

Get the book that tells the world: I like to read large-print TV tie-ins! Top ten wise-ass things to say to the clerk as you purchase this book: 10. Dont bother wrapping it. Ill eat it here. 9. I cant believe some jerks just go to the library and check out books for free! 8. MEEEEOW!! You sell books to kitties dont you? 7. Whoa! You must go to Lettermans barber. 6. You know they really ought to do one of those Cops-type shows about bookstore clerks. 5. I was going to shoplift this book but my pants are already full of supermarket steaks. 4. Do you have a bag or something? I dont want anyone to see me with this. 3. If this book gives me a paper cut Im suing your sorry ass. 2. Can you Super Size this? 1. You gotta sell me some diphthongs man! Im Hooked on Phonics!