<p>Do we choose to create what we need or complain about its absence? In long-term intimate relationships it all comes down to a choice: Drive or Bitch. Rabbi Doctor Sheldon Wayne Moss has guided thousands of couples into more satisfying long-term relationships. As a research psychologist he has demonstrated that using humor to bond is a relationship skill that can be easily learned. He says Couples argue in the car about each other's driving. At one point I turned to Barbara my wife and made an offer 'Do you want to drive or do you want to bitch about my driving?' It spiked a hearty laugh and got us thinking. We road test this proactive choice throughout Barbara's serious battle with Stage 4 Mantle Cell Lymphoma Cancer. I take the readers into a ground-shifting seminar of many couples describing how they stopped complaining and nourished their bonding instead. </p><p></p><p>About the Author: As founder of the Soviet-American Forum Rabbi Sheldon Wayne Moss D.D. Ph.D. convened the five international human rights conferences between East and West during Perestroika. With his wife he founded Sunburst Rabbinic Retreat Center a national think tank in Boulder Colorado. The couple has been married 29 years have four children and eight grandchildren. He is now the rabbi of Temple Beth Shalom northwest of Phoenix and is president of the Area Ministerial Association. </p>