زعَمَ أنّه في فترةٍ متأخّرة من حياته، بعد نفوق كلبتيه تسمّمًا، وانفصالٍ رابع عن زوجة رابعة، وتروما تفجير تمثالَي بوذا في باميان - أفغانستان، واستئصال عضوين داخليّين (زائدة دوديّة ونصف كبد متشمّع)، بالتزامن مع نفاد نسخ الطبعة الأولى للكتاب الذي صنع شهرته، أنثروبوفوبيا، الذي يرى اليوم أنّه كان محض هراء، صعقه كشفٌ داخليٌّ، كوحيٍ، بأنّه أنفق من عمره وقتًا كبيرًا لاكتساب وعيٍ، ما عاد الوقت المتبقّي من الأوّل كافيًا لتثمير الثاني، وفهِم أنّه كان ضحيّة مكيدةٍ خبيثةٍ، شارك هو بانهماكٍ مخلصٍ ولاواعٍ في إنجاحها، مُحكمة بقدرٍ يصعب أن يكون وراءها قَدَرٌ أو إرادة ميتافيزيقيّة.قال: دعك من التاريخ. عليك دائمًا تجنّب ثلاثة: مدّعي معرفته، ومدّعي صنعه، ومدّعي التعلّم منه. قراءة هيغل هي الخطوة الأولى والإجباريّة لتجاوز الحاجة إلى قراءة هيغل نهائيًّا. التاريخ لا يكرّر نفسه، بل يستمرّ فحسب. العلّة في الكائن البشريّ. تاريخُ كائناتٍ أخرى، أشدّ وعيًا ببؤسها الوجوديّ وأقلّ انهزاميّة واستغراقًا في نفسها، ما كان ليتكرّر. بداية الخلاص البشريّ في الرياضيات... تمامُه في الموسيقى.He claims that in a late period of his life after the death of his two poisoned dogs his fourth divorce after his fourth marriage his trauma from the blow-up of the Buddha statues in Bamiyan Afghanistan and the simultaneous removal of two of his internal organs (his appendix and a waxy half-liver) coinciding with the selling out of the first edition copies of his book that made him famous Anthropophobia which he now sees as mere nonsense he was shocked by an internal revelation like an epiphany that he had spent a significant amount of his life acquiring awareness and the remaining time he had was not enough to further extend that awareness. He also realized that he had been a victim of a malicious trap in which he participated with sincere and insidious enthusiasm orchestrated in a destiny unlikely justified by fate or a metaphysical will.He said Forget about history. You should always avoid three things: those who claim knowledge of history those who claim its creation and those who claim to have learned from it. Reading Hegel is the first and obligatory step to surpass the need to read Hegel altogether. History does not repeat itself it only goes on. The flaw lies in the human being. Had there been other beings more aware of their existential misery and less inclined to defeatism and self-absorption their history would not have been repeated. The beginning of human salvation lies in mathematics... and its accomplishment in music.
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