Free to Be Me

By telling my story I hope to help people suffering adversity and severe depression. This problem has been with me since my early 20's I have spent several periods in hospital, also having E.C.T I am still on a lot of medication. We moved from Sydney to Broke in the Hunter Valley firstly growing raspberries to supply the restaurants and eventually having an on-farm-shop. I also made chutneys and jams from our fruit trees and extensive vegetable garden. Although we had apricots, figs, pears and table grapes, the raspberries developed a diseases so we had to look to another venture. We researched and eventually planted olive trees. We were foundation members of the Hunter Valley Olive Association; I also travelled to California, Argentine, Spain and Italy for further research. We sold the farm and bought a huge home on Lake Macquarie, from tree change to sea change. The marriage was very rocky and I was very unhappy. We then bought a restaurant, which brought a whole lot of new stress and problems. In 2003 I suffered a stroke, was in an induced coma for four months and when I regained consciousness, I was blind. My husband and children put me in a nursing home, I was only 56 years old. It was awful. Apart from loss of vision I was suffering no other effects from the stroke. The family sought no help for me so I initiated seeing an eye surgeon. The result was I regained my sight. I was indeed a medical miracle. I went back home but life was terrible. I was working with two social workers who described my situation as domestic violence, not physical but emotional. Eventually one morning I rang my three children, in Sydney, and told them I was leaving, not one said Mum I will come and get you. I rang a friend who would pick me up but I could only stay a couple of nights. After contacting one of the social workers I ended up in a Women's Refuge, firstly in Muswellbrook then Lane Cove, in Sydney. For 7 years I have been in a Retirement Village and am extremely happy. I rarely have contact with my three children and six grand daughters. This hurts a great deal. They don't seem to value me but my many friends and activities make a very full and happy life. I am at last 'Free to be me'. Maggie