Healing the Wound: Recovering from Loss

HEALING THE WOUND is based on workshops Dr. Fox-Hines conducts for people who have experienced major losses in their lives whether those loses be the death of a loved one the end of a relationship the loss of a job illness or injury that causes massive changes in ones life style trauma such as rape that tears into our very beings.. Dr Fox-Hines created the image of a wound as she dealt with her own grief and with clients grief. Most people understand that wounds need several forms of care in order to heal. Often they do not know that our often invisible emotional wounds also need several forms of care in order to heal. This book takes the care needed for physical healing and shows how each of the steps in healing bodily wounds can be applied to often agonizingly painful wounds of the spirit. Each chapter in the book focuses on a specific aspect of caring for a wound: cleansing applying ointment bandaging medication stitches rehabilitation and dealing with scar tissue.. Wounds need to be washed. Emotional wounds need the cleansing of tears. Wounds need antibiotic ointments or medications. Gentle self care and accepting the caring ministrations of others is the ointment that works on wounds of the spirit. Wounds need bandages. Our human support systems are the bandages for emotional pain. We often need some form of pain killers when we are physically wounded. People when grieving too often turn to unhealthy medications such as alcohol or over eating. Activity and diversions are the healthy forms of medication for attacks on our beings. Large wounds require stitches. The stitches involved with emotional wounds include dealing with reality -it was a death not simply a moving on.--and the anger that often comes with reality. After initial healing comes rehabilitation and with life wounds versus physical ones rehab is refocusing on the future versus the past; it is making plans for ones life. Lastly with many major bodily wounds there is scar tissue and periodically recurring aches and pains. So too with emotional wounds. Anniversaries etc. can cause a flooding of the original pain to roll over us. It is important to be aware of this possibility and even plan for it.. When writing HEALING THE WOUND Dr. Fox-Hines realized that most people going through major losses are not up to reading scholarly and lengthy texts. She therefore purposefully kept what she had to say simple and brief --a total of --- pages. She also thought that using the metaphor of a physical wound would make developing a healing plan easier; for example If you know that washing a wound is necessary then when you find yourself crying you can label it washing and cleansing -not something to be embarrassed about.. Dr. Fox-Hines also realized that one plan does not fit all. We are all unique and need to tailor our healing process to fit what is best for us. So what she does provide in this short book are guidelines and in each chapter there are questions and/or exercises that might be useful in sorting through what would work for each individual.. Most people can read through the whole book in a couple of hours; however probably the best use of the book is to first do a quick read and then to slowly focus on one or two chapters at a time responding to the questions doing the exercises and building a plan that fits with ones own unique being and unique circumstances.. Building a plan can provide a sense of being in control something we often feel we have lost went we deal with death injury divorce etc. We can know we are consciously moving along versus floating in a miasma of pain or numbness.. At the end of the book Dr. Fox-Hines offers a list of suggested readings --mostly resources that have been of help to her personally to her clients and to participants in her workshops.