Heartscapes

<p>from “Lost and Found Again” </p><p>I got lost again <br />in the maze of my mind <br />But this time I managed to leave my good sense behind <br />I thought that putting a bullet in my brain <br />would take away the fear and stop the pain <br />How tragic how insane! <br />If only I could set my soul free from my body <br />I’d be at peace again <br />I’d live in ecstasy </p><p>from the preface to Meryl’s forthcoming memoir “By Grace I Dance” </p><p>On June 11 1987 following a three-month period of hopelessness self-doubt and fear I shot myself in the head at point blank range with a 22 caliber Beretta pistol my husband brought home one carefree afternoon for protection and target practice. It is a miracle that I am still alive to tell you this story. Even as I write these words now years after the “accident” I am amazed and horrified by what I actually did.</p>