i love you not

you were my place of worship. on my knees i laid my heart at your feet and when you demanded my spine i clawed it off with bare hands. i didn't know giving all of me didn't mean you'd give some of you. and i definitely didn't know loving you translated to surviving you. maybe one day i'll look back and smile because you taught me love came in different forms and you cannot stay if you love them in only one. i loved you like a man but kept you like a lesson. that's the only guise under which you will ever be mine.