If Yes and Perhaps

Felix said my wife to me as I came home to-night you will have to go to the pork-barrel.. Are you quite sure said I—quite sure? 'Woe to him' says the oracle 'who goes to the pork-barrel before the moment of his need.'. And woe to him say I replied my brave wife—woe and disaster to him; but the moment of our need has come. The figures are here and you shall see. I have it all in black and in white.. And so it proved indeed that when Miss Sampson the nurse was paid for her month's service and when the boys had their winter boots and when my life-insurance assessment was provided for and the new payment for the insurance on the house—when the[Pg 3] taxes were settled with the collector (and my wife had to lay aside double for the war)—when the pew-rent was paid for the year and the water-rate—we must have to start with on the 1st of January one hundred dollars. This as we live would pay in cash the butcher and the grocer and the baker and all the dealers in things that perish and would buy the omnibus tickets and recompense Bridget till the 1st of April. And at my house if we can see forward three months we are satisfied. But at my house we are never satisfied if there is a credit at any store for us. We are sworn to pay as we go. We owe no man anything.. So it was that my wife said: Felix you will have to go to the pork-barrel.