Jessica

Jessica was terrified that the unthinkable had happened when she had been made-up. That was the only reason she could think of for the strange feeling that came over her whenever anyone asked her a you question. The instant she heard that word - even if it was just a friendly Hi how are you? - she wanted to scrunch her eyes shut slap her hands over her ears and shout Stop! That's the STUPIDEST word I've ever heard. You know why? Because there's no YOU in here. You see I'm really not supposed to be here. LOOK at me! Can't you see that I'm just an alien being trapped in a human body? Whenever Jessica was asked such a question she gave the shortest answer possible and faded into the background as quickly as she could. She maneuvered her way through each day trying to anticipate what was expected of her and act accordingly. That was the only way she could think of to appear as if she belonged on planet Earth. If her act wasn't perfect Jessica knew what would happen. Strangers would surround her and with their arms raised high and fingers stabbing at the air they'd shout Imposter! Imposter! Before she knew it she'd be hauled into court and found guilty of impersonating a human being. All she could see in her Mind's Eye was the next day's headlines: SCIENTISTS GATHER TO EXAMINE ALIEN IMPOSTER.In her groundbreaking therapy and as if she had been transported back in psychological time Jessica discovered that the mystery of who she was had started far far earlier in her life than she - and even her therapist Dr. Jeffrey Von Glahn - had ever imagined. It began with the hurried and inattentive behavior of the medical team at her birth who were taken by surprise late at night and it continued at home with her mother's robotic-like behavior. It culminated a few weeks later in a harrowing experience with her mother when Jessica's impassioned crying - the only way she could say I am cold wet and hungry - woke her up in the middle of the night. On that particular occasion the gauge on Mrs. Thomas' giving reservoir had read EMPTY. She was saddled with way too many at-home responsibilities taking care of Jessica's older sister at one-and-a-half-years of age and a husband whose attitude toward their children was You had 'em; you take care of them! Mrs. Thomas' frantic attempts to change and feed her newborn in hopes of stopping the piercing cries only left Jessica feeling as she described it in her therapy like I was being picked up like a football dressed like a rag doll and flipped around any old way. It all left her feeling that the needing wanting part of her - the I part of her psychological make-up - was too dangerous and she had to act as if it didn't exist. What no one could possibly have known at the time was that in being born Jessica wanted to add one more good thing to the world - herself - and that her greatest hope was to bring a smile to her mother's face (See ch.1 for an edited narrative of her forty-five-minute recall of her experience of being born). After about two years progress in Jessica's therapy what little there was of it came to a grinding halt even though she nor her therapist had ever missed cancelled or been late for a session. Dr. Von Glahn did not know that for all that time he had been operating on a mistaken assumption. He had assumed as he had done with all the clients he had ever seen as well as every person he had ever known that Jessica was aware of what she needed. Then one day she made a bold request for multiple-hour sessions for several days a week in hopes of a breakthrough. If Jessica had not made that request this book would not have been written. In these extended sessions and as if she had been transported back in psychological time Jessica re-experienced many of the events that had threatened to interfere with how she was to develop as a human being. Listening to Jessica's remembrances was jus