LONG JOKES AND PARABLE'S

Clem Kaddiddle-Hopper Comes From A Rather Poorer Area Of Tasmania; In Fact They Were So Poor That His Parents Used To Cut The Bottoms Off His Pockets So He Would Have Something To Play With On Christmas Day. Clem'S Mum Was Riding The Boundary Fence Right Up To The Day He Was Born. She Was About 30 Kilometres From The Homestead When She Felt The Labour Pains Coming On. She Dismantled And Had Him In The Shade Under An Old Gum Tree, While The Mare She Had Been Riding Had A Foal. His Mother Rode The Mare Home And Clem Rode The Foal. Not Many People Know That Clem Comes From A Family Of Writers. One Of His Brothers Wrote Songs That Nobody Would Listened To. His Mother Wrote Plays That No One Would Go And See And His Father Wrote Checks That No One Would Cash. Clem Wanted To Be His Own Man So He Went To See The Bank Manager For A Loan To Print This Book. He Knew It Would Be Tough Because His Credit Was So Bad, Even The Local Shops Would Not Take His Cash. He Approached The Bank Manager And Asked. "How Do I Stand For A Loan?" The Manager Replied, "You Don'T You Get Down On Your Knees And Grovel." As You All Know That Banks Will Lend You Money If You Can Prove That You Don'T Need It. Wouldn'T It Be Nice If The Same Fellow Who Writes The Loan Advertising Was The Same Fellow Who Does The Lending?