Who is Bill Cooney? Is he a poet a madman a former candidate for the priesthood a son of one of the most prosperous and well-liked men in the tiny town of Kilbeggan Ireland an apple thief a man spared three times from certain death a gadfly a fearless Saxon warrior a student of medicine at Trinity College a truck driver a store clerk an insurance inspector a night watchman a businessman a writer of hundreds of unpublished puns a husband a father a grandfather an animal lover? Yes and he's also the author of this memoir.