Male to Male

<p>Explore the feelings of men toward other men without the pigeonholing found in terms like “gay” and “straight”!Male to Male: Sexual Feeling Across the Boundaries of Identity starts with the evidence that most studies on male sexuality have ignored--the same-sex feelings of men whose identities are heterosexual. Of the more than fifty men in this book, almost half were aware of some degree of same-sex feeling. But beyond percentages, the primary focus of Male to Male is the exploration--through their own words--of how these men experienced same-sex feelings, what these feelings meant to them, the fears surrounding them, and the consequences of the collision between their heterosexual identities and their same-sex feelings.In addition to comparative data on women's same-sex feelings, as well as on what men say in regard to their feelings about women, Male to Male includes material from two in-depth case studies. The first is on Clark, an African-American man who moved into sex with men in prison. His story shows that the need to see gay men as feminine is really a cultural defense against the powerful pull toward the male-to-male bond, and points to the movement to fulfill that bond when this defense is dropped. The second is on Zack, a gay police officer. His story explores the different dimensions and meanings of the male-to-male bond as these unfolded in his own life, while telling about the heterosexually identified men who “came out” to him about their own same-sex feelings. Male to Male will help you explore:</p><ul> <li> same-sex feelings in heterosexual men and women </li> <li> same-sex feelings in the military </li> <li> prison culture and the “heterosexual role” </li> <li> the fear of domination </li> <li> the aesthetics of fear and power </li> <li> the dynamics of rape </li> <li> compassionate relationships between heterosexual-identified men . . . and much more!</li> </ul><p>Male to Male provides evidence showing that the identity that really counts--constituting the deepest source from which men's sexual feelings for each other spring--is not specifically a gay or heterosexual identity. That source is, rather, a male identity, and--beyond that--a human identity.</p> <p>Contents</p><ul> <li> Foreword </li> <li> Preface </li> <li> Biological Essentialism, Social Constructionism, and the Individual </li> <li> The Individual in Psychological Research </li> <li> Acknowledgments </li> <li> Part I: Ordinary People </li> <li> Chapter 1: The Inner Boundary </li> <li> Same-Sex Feeling in Heterosexual Men and Women </li> <li> The Truth Is Out There </li> <li> Comparisons with Women </li> <li> The Institutional Culture </li> <li> Same-Sex Feeling and “Gender Atypicality” </li> <li> Chapter 2: Women at the Boundary </li> <li> Sexual Attraction As an Emotional Response </li> <li> Avenues of the Mind </li> <li> Image and Emotion </li> <li> Your Brain Is an Active Explorer </li> <li> Emotion As Change in the Body's “Landscape” </li> <li> Sexual Attraction As “Moving Toward” </li> <li> The Invitation </li> <li> Adolescence </li> <li> Chapter 3: “Moving Toward” and Resistance </li> <li> Seth </li> <li> Will </li> <li> Same-Sex Feeling and the Military </li> <li> Chapter 4: Men on Men: Image, Emotion, and Meaning </li> <li> The Image of the Male Body </li> <li> Men's Fears </li> <li> Adolescence and Identity </li> <li> Culture--Internalization and “Disidentification” </li> <li> Identity and the Divided Self </li> <li> Moving Toward Friends </li> <li> Bisexual Identity </li> <li> The Class Subculture </li> <li> The Emotional Fabric </li> <li> New Movement </li> <li> Spiritual Connections and the Sense of the Sacred </li> <li> Chapter 5: “Heterosexuality” versus “Moving Toward” Women </li> <li> Nick </li> <li> Tony </li> <li> Russ </li> <li> Oneness </li> <li> Chapter 6: Emotional Paths </li> <li> Colin </li> <li> Alex </li> <li> The One-to-One Bond </li> <li> Comparisons with Gay Men </li> <li> Psychological Rock Bottom </li> <li> Chapter 7: Identity Crises </li> <li> Johnny </li> <li> Carl </li> <li> Michael </li> <li> Part II: Clark </li> <li> Chapter 8: “A Man Like Myself” </li> <li> Sexual Identity </li> <li> Prison Culture and the Heterosexual Role </li> <li> The Fear of Domination </li> <li> The Image of the Male Body </li> <li> Movement Through Stages </li> <li> Relating to a Man--As a Man </li> <li> “I See Myself” </li> <li> The Aesthetics of Fear and Power </li> <li> Male Bonding and Sexual Love </li> <li> An Emotional Milestone </li> <li> Stepping Over the Cultural Barrier </li> <li> Chapter 9: Movement into a New Territory </li> <li> The Rape dynamics </li> <li> Sex As Dominance and Performance </li> <li> The Top of the Line </li> <li> The Two Emotions in the Rape </li> <li> The Rape </li> <li> Rejection in Rape </li> <li> Rejecting the Rapist Mentality </li> <li> “I Have a Choice” </li> <li> An Expression of Love </li> <li> Change in Fantasy Life and Identity </li> <li> Making Love with a Masculine Man </li> <li> Comparisons with Women </li> <li> Male to Male </li> <li> Rape Dynamics--Dissolution </li> <li> Twinning--Male Self, Male Other </li> <li> Part III: Zack </li> <li> Chapter 10: Cultural Confrontations and Identity </li> <li> The Institutional Culture: Early Encounters </li> <li> Early Movement </li> <li> Early Adolescent Explorations </li> <li> The Guide Dream </li> <li> Dream and Myth </li> <li> The Role of the “Carrier” </li> <li> Rites of Passage </li> <li> Joining the Police Force </li> <li> Suicide and the False Self </li> <li> The Turning Point </li> <li> Self-Disclosure--Family </li> <li> Self-Disclosure--Work </li> <li> Chapter 11: The Color Green </li> <li> Early Directions </li> <li> The Color Green </li> <li> The Dream of the Color Green </li> <li> The Image of the Double </li> <li> The Double in Conrad's The Secret Sharer (ital) </li> <li> Love in the Flesh </li> <li> Two Masculinities </li> <li> The Dream of the Young Man in the Cellar </li> <li> The God of Love </li> <li> The Third Meaning of the Dream of the Young Man in the Cellar and the Dream of the Cave </li> <li> Chapter 12: Boundary Crossings </li> <li> Zack As the Double </li> <li> “I Felt I Was Jewish” </li> <li> Fighting with Destiny </li> <li> Compassionate Relationships </li> <li> Boundary Crossings </li> <li> Conclusion: Identity and Beyond </li> <li> Appendix: David and Jonathan </li> <li> Notes </li> <li> Bibliography </li> <li> Index </li> <li> Reference Notes Included</li> </ul>