May the Lord have MRSA on me!

This story is my humorous and true account of the not so humorous bacterium known as MRSA. This flesh-eating super-bug takes the lives of 9000 unsuspecting Americans each and every year since it mysteriously appeared in the year of 1961. Even though this nasty monster is unknown to most people here in the United States you will never forget it once you've had it attack you. This entertaining and educational story will help teach you to the horrific dangers of MRSA and it will inform you of measures which you can take to prevent this barbarian-savage from spreading to your family. After I was infected by this vicious man-eating virus I have devoted most of my spare time ensuring that my home is clean and MRSA free! I have no mercy when it comes to MRSA which makes me somewhat of a MRSA-NARY. If MRSA is anywhere near me I will hunt it down and kill it! My friends now call me; THE-MRSA-NATOR.