My Pirate Neighbour Alfonso Piracchini

When quiet-living immunologist Kuzma Centerius moves into his semi-detached castle in the Enchanted Kingdom of Whitley Bay he expects peace petri dishes and the occasional fungal insight. Instead he gets Alfonso Piracchini-a red-bearded pirate with turquoise trousers a cannon in the shed and a dangerous lack of restraint. Before long Kuzma is hurled headfirst into an absurd quest involving time-travelling ships sentient genies Aztec gods with anger issues and a fire-breathing raccoon named Phagocyte. Alongside the cannon-hauling Kurfürst Massimo and an immunological mystery that smells faintly of anchovies the crew bumbles toward a treasure guarded by volcanic islands philosophical molluscs and one particularly vengeful sabre-toothed toad.