No More Settling: Finding Wholeness in Relationships

No More Settling Latoya KightMy life has been FULL of ups and downs. This thing called life will throw a curveball at you and my life has been FULL of curveballs: curveballs I couldnt have anticipated or have been prepared for. If you think youre prepared then youve got another thing coming.When you are born you cant imagine all the problems you will face. You definitely dont ask for it. Who wants turmoil? Not me. Theres no way I wanted to be born to a teenage mom. I couldnt have possibly asked to be raised without my real dad. I definitely didnt desire to grow up in a home full of people and still feel lonely. I didnt want to become pregnant at the age of 16. I surely didnt want to become pregnant again at 17. I never asked to be in a tumultuous marriage. My dream didnt include a divorce. On top of it all I suffered from mental and emotional abuse heartache pain rejection low self-esteem and stress. This was not what I wanted for my life or what I prayed for. However continued prayer and reflection made me realize that the key to my happiness was making sure all of my relationships were healthy and that journey would have to start with being healthy myself. After this realization my life completely turned around.Theres no need to live life lonely angry and damaged; you were not created to suffer. Our Creator built us to be happy and healthy. Granted obtaining healthy relationships takes a lot of work and keeping them requires even more energy and perseverance. So you have to be willing to change give up unhealthy tendencies and compromise. If you are willing to brave these challenges and look inside yourself you will find all the nasty mess that youve buried as excuses and self-bashing that you need to remove. These are your hidden wounds hurts that never healed and issues you never confronted that youll have to confront and resolve before you can have the healthy relationships that help make you whole. Friends and family are some of the greatest gifts God has given us. Dont miss out on the beauty of it all due to your own selfish motives.My happiness and wellbeing largely depended on learning how to achieve and maintain strong and healthy relationships: as a daughter sister mother wife friend niece granddaughter and cousin. I wanted to be able to have relationships with my family and friends that not only brought out the best in myself but in them as well. This meant establishing a meaningful connection beyond mere titles. Whether we succeeded or failed at our attempt I wanted to enjoy growing together knowing that we at least tried.Not all of my relationships have been perfect but I tapped into something years ago that helped me view and treat my relationships differently. When I realized the people around me were my allies not my enemies I changed how I treated them. I knew I needed these relationships to survive so I began to show my appreciation for the people in my life more. If I wanted to be respected I needed to be respectful in turn. I craved connections that were valuable toeveryone involved. I wanted to be spoken well of and vice versa. I desired to give and not just receive. I wanted to make a positive impact on everyone around me.I wrote this book to highlight some of the lessonsI have learned on my journey which have allowed me to grow tremendously. Im finally experiencing a more fulfilling and healthy life because my relationships are stronger; they are connections I and loved ones can turn to for inspiration and guidance. This is a goal I never believed was possible. Theres no way that someone could be happy with all their relationships I once thought. Well Im here to let you know thats a lie.