Why do they call it insane? Out of sane is better. Losing all of that sanity that is supposed to get youthrough life. Instead I found myself falling out of life. Twists and turns, fourteen surgeries causing chronicpain, leaving me permanently disabled with complete loss of independence. Two soul stealing marriages. Allof it, shrapnel, leading to deterioration into a world of pain, alcohol, drugs, and pills. Walking hand in handwith mental illness. Th e hate. Th e anger. Th e sadness for what used to be. Th is is my story. It is fi lled withtears, desperation, love, discontent, humor, disappointment and loss. However, I hope this helps others outthere not to fall out of life as I did and if they already have, or are heading that way, may they possibly fi ndsome solace in not being completely alone while curled up in a ball.