Parade of Malfeasance

<p>Servals have the fastest paw strike<br>of any living feline.<br>Blue whales have the biggest babies<br>and if spiders weighed 238lbs<br>maybe then we'd give a fuck<br>while hailing our methods humane<br>but for now our capillaries<br>chug Keystone<br>pixelated worlds become womb<br>cassowaries won't eat a local newborn<br>and swapping out urinal cakes<br>pays nine an hour<br>plus transportation<br>to and from<br>whatever holes we crawl.<br>This ecology is too spicy.<br>Remember the declaration of independence<br>from ever again cooking with jalapeño<br>before buttstuffs?<br>Once<br>there was a tiger who choked<br>on a good time.<br>Once<br>there was a boy who ached granular.<br>Once<br>those two bred<br>and a children's book was sold...<br>...the author of which is a scumbag.<br>We sing a hymn in her honor.</p>