Poems of a Spectrum-Autist

<p>he term Spectrum-Autist is how I describe one who is diagnosed with Autism-Spectrum Disorder.  Since I do not think of Autism as a "disorder I prefer "Spectrum-Autist."  Being a Spectrum-Autist is to live in the in-between.  In-between a typical person and a profound Autist.  The in-between is a difficult place to be.  People can see me both as normal and as strange.  At first meeting me there are not obvious signs and people often assume that I am like conventional humans.  The more time they spend in conversation with me however that view can rapidly deteriorates but they do not quite know why.  They often recognize introversion though I have been told by other introverts that I am "off the chart" introverted.  For a while "painfully introverted" suited me for a label.  It is quite literally painful to be among a group of people expected to interact and also to be alone unable to be the person that I want to be.  At times I thought that I would slip into deep autism never to emerge.  Meanwhile I somehow got through school college graduate school and a doctorate.  I learned other languages as part of my educational requirements.  Autistic people are not supposed to be good at language right?  It was only later that I discovered with the help of a brilliant and compassionate psychologist Doctor James Pallas that I have (what was then called) Asperger's Syndrome.  "What is that?" I asked.  He first put it in simple terms.  "You are a verbal-autistic."  A verbal autist.  Who knew?  He took me through the diagnostic criteria and it explained so much of my life my behavior and the way that I express myself.</p>