Rumours from the Pit

I answered the knock at the door to find a young fresh-faced chap in a pristine black suit. A slim laptop computer hung from his hand like a briefcase. He had Government written all over him. In the background I saw the regulation unmarked van stealth-black straight from the fourth level laboratory of Amadeus Khan. Inland Revenue he said. The Department sent me. Outwardly I kept calm but inside I felt the old thrill and with a deft move I grabbed my pitchfork from behind the door and nailed him to a veranda post with a swift and powerful jab. Dont worry; he didnt suffer much.