<p>James remembers the day he began to plot to kill his father Harry: It was the day before his seventh birthday and he finally realized his mom was not going to leave him.</p><p>Whenever Harry would beat his mom James would think &ldquo;No Dad! Stop beating Mom. Look over here at me. I&rsquo;m the one you are angry with. I&rsquo;m your sissy son remember?&rdquo;</p><p>Eventually Harry would banish James from their Texas home telling him he was going to pray he&rsquo;d get AIDS and die. &ldquo;Our family has been shamed and embarrassed enough by you&rdquo; he raved. &ldquo;You&rsquo;ll get what you deserve one day.&rdquo;</p><p>James desperate for the need to be loved and accepted for how God made him turned to drugs alcohol and partying&mdash;and before long he realized he was on the path to becoming an abusive alcoholic just like his father.</p><p>He shares how hitting rock bottom led to a Jewish spiritual awakening filled with love and an abiding faith in humanity in Secrets and Shame.</p>
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