Shadows and Echoes

For Too Long I Hovered In The Past. Shadows And Echoes Became That Opportunity By Pushing My Hippocampal Button To Re-Live Past Experiences And Re-Capture The People Who Influenced Me The Most. It Was Time For New Insights; For Finding Answers To The Over-Arching Question: Why I Am What I Am. . Looking At Ones Life When In His Mid-Fifties I Believe Is Not Unusual Especially When There Exists A Moderate Degree Of Dissatisfaction. Though For Most The Past Is Probably Only A Segment Of Ones Life An Interval With Fairly Well-Defined Parameters. It Is What Was And Then Left There. This Was Not The Case With Me Until I Began To Write. . At The Age Of Fifty-Five And In The Grasp Of The Realization Of More Years Behind Than In Front Of Me I Felt A Need To Stop And Look At Not Just Where I Was But Where I Had Been Where I Came From.. . Encapsulating Aspects Of My Life And Personal Influences Shadows And Echoes Originated As A Strict Narrative A Composite Journaling If You Will For The Benefit Of My Daughters. A Change In The Setting-Fictionalized Between Psychiatrist And Patient- Added Interaction And Subtle Nuances Associated With The Psychotherapeutic Arena. That Change Gives The Reader A Focused Relatable Appeal. Personally I Found This Freeing And To A Great Extent Stabilizing. The Readers I Believe Will Share Similar Ends Whether Their Look-Back Is Joyful Sad And/Or Wistful Or Some Combination.. . With Religion As The Fulcrum Earlier Foundations And Broader Issues Are Stressed I.E. Childhood And Family Dynamics And The Post-World War Ii Confluence Of Identity Assimilation And Anti-Semitism. In My Late Adolescence For A Variety Of Reasons Our Family Had To Leave That Safe Monolithic Supportive Cocoon I Had Known And Loved. It Was This Breach That Seemed To Change Everything: My Academic Dismissal From College That Eventually Propelled Me Into A Marriage Prematurely; Chronic Career Identity Diffusion; A Second Failed Marriage And A Series Of Relationships. . Given His Centrality In My Life Much Content Was Devoted To My Father. He Was My Best Friend And Mentor A Role Model In Dealing With Others; A Non-Religious Man Who Could Combine The Religious And Secular More Effectively Than Anyone I Have Yet To Meet; The Person Who Men Respected And Women Found Charming; And The One Who Taught Me How To Grow Old Gracefully. . In Completing Shadows And Echoes Answers Begot Further Questions With The Cycle Repeating Itself A Number Of Times. Some Personal Influences Lost Their Veneer And Became Stick Figures; Many Events Were Seen For What They Were-Fictionalized And Ethereal. The Composite Gave Me At Once A Sorely Lacking Reconnection With My People And Religion Along With A Firm Understanding Of Its Teachings History As Well As Its Own Struggles.