Shit My Dad Says

<p><i>'At 28 years old I found myself living at home with my 73-year-old father. As a child my father never minced words and when I screwed up he had a way of cutting right through the bullshit and pointing out exactly why I was being an idiot. When I moved back in I was still for the most part an idiot. But this time I was smart enough to write down all the things he said to me...' </i></p><p> Meet Justin Halpern and his dad. Almost 1.5 million people follow Mr Halpern's philosophical musings every day on Twitter and in this book his son weaves a brilliantly funny touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his sayings. What emerges is a chaotic hilarious true portrait of a father and son relationship from a major new comic voice. As Justin says at one point his dad is 'like Socrates but angrier and with worse hair'; and this is the sort of shit he says...</p><p> 'You know sometimes it's nice having you around. But now ain't one of those times. Now gimmie the remote we're not watching this bullshit.'</p><p> 'Happy Birthday I didn't get you a present... Oh mom got you one? Well that's from me then too - unless it's shitty.'</p><p> 'Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn't stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down.'</p><p> 'The worst thing you can be is a liar . . . Okay fine yes the worst thing you can be is a Nazi but THEN number two is liar. Nazi 1 Liar 2.'</p><p> 'Why the f**k would I want to live to 100? I'm 73 and shit's starting to get boring. By the way there's no money left when I go just fyi.'</p>