Short Stories by an Old-Fashioned Millennial

The publishing company said I needed a back cover introduction to this catastrophe. They said to use my Instagram bio. I dont use Instagram! What part of old-fashioned dont they understand? Here goes nothing. Hello there. If youre anything like me-besides being delightfully dapper cunningly creative and stunningly sarcastic-you wont buy a book without reading the back cover. Dont. Sure it might be entertaining at first but by the final chapter youll wish you had spent your time being beaten by a sack of rabid raccoons. Its boring its odd and its grossly underpriced (the retail price was another one of the publishers recommendations). Dont buy it for the wisdom youll revive. That can be found in any fortune cookie. The entertainment value is inferior to C-Span and even Jimmy Kimmel. Thats saying something. If youre seeking a scandalous love story youre barking up the wrong tree. You also wont find suspense between these covers. Youll have to engage every ounce of your patience to just finish the introduction. Go ahead. I double-dog dare you.