Sleeper

<p><strong style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>SHANE MILLER SLEEP DIARY:</strong></p><p></p><p><strong style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>Went to bed at</strong><em style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>: Late.</em></p><p><strong style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>How long it took to fall asleep</strong><em style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>: Forever. I have insomnia. Duh.</em></p><p><strong style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>Number of caffeinated beverages you had consumed</strong><em style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>: Zero. Thanks for advising me to quit!</em></p><p class=ql-align-center></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>My stress level is off the charts. </span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>I can't sleep right on a normal day and lately my days are filled with the best kind of chaos. </span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>My ex-wife and husband number two are filming in Poland for three months </span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>so I'm turning down movie parts to focus on the most important role of my life-</span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>impossibly charming and somewhat capable young single dad.</span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>My son won't stop asking questions.</span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>My daughter won't brush her teeth unless I sing her showtunes.</span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>Our regular nanny quit.</span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>The only person I could trust to hire as a temp nanny is my best friend's sister. </span></p><p></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>If Mary Poppins and Bill Murray had a baby it would be Willa. </span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>Fresh out of grad school and beautifully weird. </span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>She hates my movies and my kids adore her. </span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>I couldn't sleep last night because she wasn't here. </span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>Turns out I can't sleep unless she's in my house now. </span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>Turns out she's what's been missing from my life all along. </span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>If my friend had any idea what I want to do to his gorgeous troublemaker of a sister </span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>he would smother me with a pillow. </span></p><p></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>The chances of us succeeding as a couple are about as good as that little indie movie </span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>that I made being a huge hit. </span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1)>But it's a chance I'm going to take.</span></p><p></p>