Stop Your Crying

<p>I wish I never had you. </p><p><br></p><p>You talk in riddles. </p><p><br></p><p>Can't you talk intelligent? </p><p><br></p><p>My mother said these words to me more than times than I can count. </p><p><br></p><p>I thought it was normal.</p><p><br></p><p>I learned it was not.</p><p><br></p><p>This is my story. </p><p><br></p><p>I didn't speak until I was five. At age six I was put in special education and called a 'retard' by my own brothers. </p><p><br></p><p>I was autistic but no one knew it. Except God knew. At six years old He told me He was watching over me. I didn't even know who God was except by the spitting remarks my mother made about religion at the dinner table. </p><p><br></p><p>At seven I was abused by my friend's 19-year-old cousin. At ten my mother punched me in the face with her closed fist blaming me for something I didn't do. Realizing she would never love me I no longer wanted to live. I handed my brother a knife and demanded that he use it on me. He stared at me and laughed. </p><p><br></p><p>It was at that moment I realized I had no choice but to survive and no one was going to help me. I had to choose my own path. I had to learn to love myself. I had to turn the negatives in my life into positives. </p><p><br></p><p>Autistic dyslexic and carrying a big secret I made my way in the world with a single dream.</p>