Stopping The Violence

This informative and helpful guide will assist your clients in making positive strides toward a nonviolent life. Some of the tips and suggestions that are further explained in this workbook include: <ul><li>Acknowledge to yourself and to others that you have a problem with anger abuse and control <li>Address mental health and chemical use issues if they are present in your life <li>Come to know that when you become abusive you are always feeling inadequate powerless and unlovable <li>Realize that controlling and abusive behavior hurts you and those you love <li>Understand that anger is different from abuse and control <li>Recognize that becoming abusive is always a choice <li>Instead of blaming others take responsibility for what you feel how you think and how you act <li>Accept that you cannot control or change other people <li>Remember that you can always take a time-out <li>Think about the possible consequences before you become controlling and abusive <li>Identify what triggers your anger and your abusive and controlling attitudes and behaviors <li>Notice what you are thinking: Your thoughts can increase your escalation or calm you down <li>Become aware of all your feelings not just your anger and learn to respectfully communicate them to others <li>Turn conflicts into positive problem-solving opportunities <li>Control abuse and violence are learned: Think about the messages you received from your family and from society about what it is to be a man <li>Redefine manhood as nonviolent and nonabusive <li>Take the risk to count on other men for emotional support <li>Learn to feel a genuine sense of pride by taking control of how you view the world and how you act <li>Start to believe that you can truly change the controlling and abusive parts of who you have been </ul>