Struggle Between Two Lives

<p><strong style=color: rgba(15 17 17 1)>My name is Jade Xiu and I exist in two worlds</strong><span style=color: rgba(15 17 17 1)> but I don't feel like I belong to either. I was born to an </span><strong style=color: rgba(15 17 17 1)>American father and an Asian mother</strong><span style=color: rgba(15 17 17 1)> with dreams of being free and independent but am bound by the rules of Chinese traditions instead. My everyday life is a constant contradiction and I can't take it anymore.</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style=color: rgba(15 17 17 1)>My overbearing mother wants me to forget about my dreams and become a pharmacist. </span><strong style=color: rgba(15 17 17 1)>I can't do that. I won't.</strong></p><p><span style=color: rgba(15 17 17 1)>It goes against all the rules but rebellion is my only option. I resist at every turn. It drives my mother crazy and all but ruins our relationship. I naively believed a little strife wouldn't cause long-term damage or years of regret... until life dealt me a devastating blow that sent me into a spiral of depression anxiety self-loathing and shame.</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style=color: rgba(15 17 17 1)>It turns out my inability to fit in and resistance to my mother's desire to make me see my worth my potential and my natural born gifts weren't the worst things that ever happened to me. The worst thing that ever happened to me was my failure to accept and love who I am not despite my differences but </span><strong style=color: rgba(15 17 17 1)><em>because</em> </strong><span style=color: rgba(15 17 17 1)>of my differences.</span></p><p><br></p><p><strong style=color: rgba(15 17 17 1)>I wish I didn't have to learn these truths the hard way.</strong></p><p><br></p><p><strong style=color: rgba(15 17 17 1)>I wish I could take it all back.</strong></p><p><br></p><p><strong style=color: rgba(15 17 17 1)>I love you Mom.</strong></p>