The Bacon Gospels

What if the Gospels were less about the ancient world ancient people and salvation and more about the modern farming industry farm animals and bacon? Riding on the growing popularity of bacon in current American culture The Bacon Gospels strives to answer this very question Mattbacon 7:7: Oink and it shall be given you; root and ye shall find; squeal and it shall be opened unto you. Bark 10:27: And Ham looking upon them squealeth With meat it is impossible but not with Pork: for with Pork all things are possible. Baconuke 2:7: And she brought forth her firstborn suckling and wrapped him in swaddling hide and laid him in a styrofoam tray; because there was no room for them in the Pig and Whistle. Johnbacon 3:16: For Pork so loved the factory that he gave his only begotten Rasher that whosoever believeth in bacon should not perish but have everlasting shelflife.