The Goat in the Bedroom

<p><strong>When your love life stinks and you're clearly the worst at choosing someone who won't break your heart why not ask your best friend to find you a date?</strong></p><p></p><p><strong>Unless of course...you're in love with her.</strong></p><p></p><p>I've been friends with Artemis since high school when we bonded over crushing on the same guy. Six years later we're roommates in our shiny new post college lives-she's training for the Olympics while I start my pro football career. We've both recently had bad break-ups and she says if she's going to get back out there she needs dating lessons. Naturally she asks me-her completely platonic roommate-to teach her.</p><p></p><p>We practice eye contact. Hand holding. Cuddling during movies. Because that's what best friends do right? Practice intimacy? For science?</p><p></p><p>She thinks I'm being helpful. I think I'm losing my mind.</p><p></p><p>Meanwhile I'm out here sabotaging her dates getting jealous of my own teammates and having heart-to-hearts with our pet goats about my feelings while she's literally in the next room.</p><p></p><p>But we're definitely just friends.</p><p></p><p>The evidence we might be idiots:</p><p></p><p>•The documentary crew filming my rookie season knows.</p><p>•Our pet goats know.</p><p>•Everyone knows. EVERYONE.</p><p>•The only people who don't know? Us.</p><p></p><p></p><p><em>This sports romance features two bisexual dating disasters who are Olympic-level idiots for each other - a football player who falls first and pines HARD and a curvy rugby goddess who's oblivious because she's convinced she's too much - matchmaking goats with excellent taste in humans that Bridgertons-meets-American-Football family that's about to stage an intervention unless someone snaps and locks them in a closet together first a documentary crew catching every slip and you've got a love story everyone can see coming ... except them.</em></p>