THE GRIMPEBBET ALMANAC

<p>Dear Reader: This book will change your life when you read it and might even induce you to send money to its creator.</p><p>You've already picked up this book and if you're reading the back cover you must know that you are in the Celebrated Few who can spot great literature at a glance. Read this book learn about everything mystical magical and rewarding there possibly is. There are many dumb asses walking the earth you know this. The Grimpebbet Almanac isn't for them. </p><p>But you know. And so do we. Folks who read books are smarter than folks who don't that's a mathematical certainty. Read this book and find out secrets that will change your life. There's no reason to let the dumb asses in on it--not just yet. They don't after all have much money. And the great wisdom in this book would be lost on them. The mere fact that you picked a book off a shelf indicates that you are far and above the...unfortunates. </p><p>Buy this book and read it or something very disturbing and wrong must be going on in your life. You pay money for dog food; you must pay money for a book this epic and life-changing. You're smart enough to buy and read the Grimpebbet Almanac. It is a beacon of light in a sea of dumb asses. </p><p>--J.D. Baghead Esquire. </p>