The Man I Didn't Know

<p><em>The Man I Didn't Know</em> narrates my discovery of a father unknown to me. To be sureI thought that I knew my father. Although my parents were divorced and I lived with my mother I spent all day Saturdays with him for 11 formative years from ages 8 to 18. And I continued to communicate with him by weekly letters and occasional visits for another ten years until his death. He was a good father: attentive and loving. But then 32 years after his death I discovered his diary and myriad short stories that he had written. As I began to read the volumes in this trove I quickly came to a startling revelation: the author of the diary and the stories was unrecognizable: a stranger a father I didn't know. This stranger was beset by the insidious demons of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) demons that were foreign to the father I knew respected loved. Distraught I was compelled to read further hoping to resolve this disconnect between the fathers I knew and didn't know.</p><p class=ql-align-justify>This became a study of a man's recovery from acute mental illness. The study derives from personal memories of my father and two interlacing narratives: my father's diary and his short stories written under a pseudonym Ellis Worth. Over time-12.6 years to be exact-they follow the contours of my father's mind. They tell about his nervous breakdown his hospitalization his bouts of insulin- and electro-shock therapy. They tell about his conscious thoughts as he interacts with psychiatrists colleagues family and lover. And they tell about his dreams: unconscious nighttime dreams and conscious daytime dreams dreams of becoming a successful writer dreams of marrying the woman he loves. <span style=color: rgba(255 255 255 1)>narration tells of his gradual recovery from this insidious illness to become the father I knew respected and loved.  </span></p><p><br></p>