The Oat Project: How I Faced My Fear and Finally Came of Age in One Wild Summer

When I told my mom friends that being a preachers daughter meant no movies dances or alcohol and being out of control was a root of sin they insisted I get drunk at a party they would plan. I did not agree but said yes. I was the mother of three and the wife of a terrific fellow. What happiness or self-knowledge do I lack? But considering their reactions widened cracks that had begun to appear in the life I had carefully cultivated to be okay with myself to handle panic attacks and to manage fear. Then Ellery asked What else have you not done Jene? Have you smoked weed? No! I said horrified. Its a drug! Skinny dipped? asked Beryl. This body? Naked? In public? No. My pre-three-kids body was a distant memory. Ever watched porn? asked Sarah. No! Im married! I mean I have sex. That last part came out more like a question than a statement. Had role-play sex? asked Beryl. You mean like dressing up? My mind stopped in shock. Yes she said in her matter-of-fact voice. Like Schoolgirl versus Godzilla. I couldnt help but giggle. No definitely not. My eyes widened. Wait have you? As the scope of my inexperience grew so did their incredulousness. My curiosity ballooned into wanting to have a few normal experiences so we made a list of things I should have done already that they wanted to do with me. Little did I know it would lead to a summer of experimentation in conservative Colorado Springs; debauchery vice and completely naked bodies doing things Id been taught lead straight to hell including getting rip-roaring drunk. I was scared spitless.