The Pale White Hallway

<p>As a child in the 1990's my medical condition made hospitals and surgeries a constant reality. I built a fortress of normalcy using humor and denial to hide my fear and to live a double life: a cheerful kid on the outside a terrified one on the inside.</p><p>​For decades this facade was my survival reinforced by alcohol when i got older that kept my panic attacks at bay. But when a profound family loss forces me to face my grief my fortress crumbles. The panic once a memory returns with a vengeance leading to a new terrifying rock bottom where my body and mind are completely disconnected.</p><p>​This is the story of my jounrey where I must now confront the traumatized child within. By dismantling my own defenses and accepting support I begin a perilous journey of healing learning that true peace isn't found by running from the past but by embracing it.</p>