The Petraeus Files: All the Photos Chats Poems and Other Super-Secret Emails They Don’t Want You to See

WARNING: The satire you are about to read will change the way you look at our nations leaders. FOREVER.. In November 2012 General David Petraeus stepped down from his post as director of the CIA when it was exposed that hed had an affair with his biographer Paula Broadwell. The political scandal that unfolded would eventually include four-star generals socialites FBI agents the Army a stuffed Sasquatch and the entire cast of TLCs Sister Wives.. . Hundreds thousands―maybe millions―of e-mails were exchanged between these parties. Their computers have been seized by the government and those e-mails would likely never see the light of day. . . . . However access to these confidential documents has been obtained by a most unlikely source: comedian Ted Travelstead. Through a perfect storm of dumb luck desperation and a favor from a friend with a working computer Travelstead managed to secure these e-mails. He has pored over reams of pages to give you an inside look at The Petraeus Files. . Prepare to be amazed by:. *The coded phrases Gen. Petraeus and his mistress Paula Broadwell used to keep their rendezvous private and the numerous nicknames they had for each other (Peaches: I want your plums in my juicer.). *Florida socialite Jill Kelleys official titles: Vice Consul of Sweet Times Ambassador of Lady Town Lil Mayor Push-N-Pull and Undersecretary of All Things Considered to name a few.. *Gen. John Allens previously unknown penchant for Nip/Tuck fan fiction. With exclusive e-mails chats photographs and illustrations this is a book that will change the way you look at the military our nations leaders and the phrase rear admiral.