The Stuporwoman Files

Newspaper humor columnist public speaker and playwright Monica Lewis' laugh-out-loud observations on motherhood relationships balancing work and family and the quirks of everyday life hit home on every page. On knowing you're too old to have a baby: You know you're too old when to you a period is just something that goes at the end of a sentence. On the irony of giving your kids a time-out: Most parents would love the luxury of taking an hour to just sit in our rooms. Hell I'd even sit in the corner if it meant a moment or two of peace and quiet. On helping your child with math homework: I'm hopeless at math. For me Cardinal Numbers are the amount of red birds on the tree outside my bedroom window. On Santa Claus: If Santa was a man everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree still in the store bag. On Not Cleaning the Refrigerator: If food were human I'd be considered a slumlord.