The Worst Elf Book in the Whole Entire World

<p><strong style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)>WARNING: This IS the WORST Elf Book in the Whole Entire World</strong></p><p></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)>Elves = magic toys joy and candy canes right?</span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)>WRONG.</span></p><p></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)>Because Nameless the Rock does </span><strong style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)>NOT</strong><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)> like elves.</span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)> He doesn't trust elves.</span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)> He doesn't even know why elves need their own book.</span></p><p></p><ul><li><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)>There's glitter.</span></li><li><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)>There were candy canes-until the elf ate them all.</span></li><li><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)>There's a sleigh. On fire.</span></li><li><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)>And Santa? Missing.</span></li></ul><p></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)>And of course the elf is way too cheerful about all of it.</span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)> (He made one toy. It was a stick.)</span></p><p></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)>Nameless just wants peace and quiet.</span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)> Maybe a nap by the fire.</span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)> But instead he's trapped in </span><em style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)>Elfmas</em><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)>-and it's somehow getting worse by the page.</span></p><p></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)>Still-because Joey Acker's books never behave-</span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)> a weird kinda-happy ending sneaks in anyway. Ugh.</span></p><p></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)>YOU'LL LOVE THIS BOOK IF YOU LOVE</span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)> ✔️ Funny Christmas or winter stories with ridiculous twists</span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)> ✔️ Grumpy narrators and overly-happy elves</span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)> ✔️ Glitter chaos and unhelpful helping</span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)> ✔️ Humor that makes kids AND grown-ups laugh out loud</span></p><p><span style=color: rgba(0 0 0 1); background-color: rgba(0 0 0 0)> ✔️ Picture books that don't take the holidays seriously</span></p>