Trapped Inside an Anxious Mind and My Journey Out

Growing Up In A House Where Domestic Violence Occurs Is Terrifying. It Is Devastating For The Victim And Also For The Children Who Witness It. I Felt Unsafe And Alone Inside My House And Outside In The World Most Of The Time. Traumatic Events Affect People In Different Ways - I Struggled With Fear And Critical Self-Talk. My Anxiety And Nervousness Later Led To Medicating With Alcohol And Desperately Needing Validation From Others. Turning Into A People-Pleaser To Avoid Harm Was Not A Wise Thing To Do. Rather Than Protect Me Often Times It Put Me In Regrettable Situations. When This Happened I Would Say To Myself How Could A Nice Girl Like Me Behave In Such A Terrible Manner? I Began Hating Myself. I Began Having Panic Attacks When I Was A Teenager...I Couldn'T Breathe And Gasped For Air. Trauma Produced The Perfect Storm To Experience Relationship Problems Which Included A Fear Of Intimacy And Commitment. It Also Produced Insecurity And A Huge Need For Connection. I Believe I Was Born To Be Anxious. I Think Recovery Is About Recovering Whatever Has Been Lost Through Trauma Abuse Addiction Or Neglect.