Wear Your Waders

<p><span style=background-color: rgba(255 255 255 1); color: rgba(15 17 17 1)>Abused since birth yearning to be loved and accepted I find the opposite. My life became one of self sabotage and destruction. I knew God was there and loved me yet I didn't understand how He could or where He was in all of this. What is love?</span></p><p></p><p><span style=background-color: rgba(255 255 255 1); color: rgba(15 17 17 1)>I'm torn knowing I should love myself yet I hate myself for what happened to me. It was all my fault. Once out of that abusive household where I was raised I buried my pain in sex drugs and alcohol. Abusive people are drawn to me and the cycle continued.</span></p><p></p><p><span style=background-color: rgba(255 255 255 1); color: rgba(15 17 17 1)>Most of the world saw me as functioning the pain hidden in the darkness as I live what looks like a normal life to most people.</span></p><p></p><p><span style=background-color: rgba(255 255 255 1); color: rgba(15 17 17 1)>At the deepest point of my self destruction God sends the most obscure healer who teaches me to like love and accept myself for the very one I was created to be.</span></p><p></p><p><span style=background-color: rgba(255 255 255 1); color: rgba(15 17 17 1)>My life has always been filled with stories and adventures. Now they are different. Some are similar to the past but most are wondrous joyful and filled with miracles. In all of this there was never any fear. When you've been to hell and back then truly know the One who loves you more than you could ever imagine nothing can stop you.</span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p>