What I've Learned

What I've Learned - An Encyclopedia of Perpetual Bullshit covers topics that affect us every single day as seen through the eyes of Chris Heist. Just like you he's a nobody that wants to be a somebody. So he set out to write this book; losing two jobs an apartment and a marriage along the way. In this book you'll learn how to properly reject etiquette how to legally stare into your neighbor's windows how to properly support suicide how to make sense out of idiotic laws how to insult people's mothers how to piss off religious people how to write a screenplay how to use taboo words without getting your ass kicked how to play drinking games how to handle holidays how to use the bible to avoid paying child support how to spot a scumbag boss how to disgust hotel staff how to behave online how to deal with addiction how to properly be patriotic how to skip high school how to say impolite things in German how to choose heroes and how to enjoy what you have with the time you have to enjoy it. In his small circle of friends he is both a legend and an asshole. But now Christopher T. Heist can invade the lives of complete strangers as he shares his twisted perspective of everything he's been exposed to. And yes nothing is sacred. As a self-proclaimed actor activist poet porn star comedian screenwriter atheist author body-builder recovered addict part-time alcoholic part-time racist leader winner loser counselor ex-soldier runner bicyclist laborer prisoner freethinker singer rapper boxer criminal pimp victim street fighter dirty fighter dealer director graduate guardian sucker puncher lover photographer model artist father inventor slave to the system and all around survivalist; you may find yourself nodding in agreement to some of the crazy shit he hammers out in this book.