Why I Hate Faulkner

Don't buy this book.*. Seriously whatever you do do not buy Why I Hate Faulkner: An Essay with Practical Examples (a Novel) by Denton Thomas.*. Under no circumstances should you try to find out what this football player has against the works of William Faulkner.*. Don't even think about laughing at his obnoxious relatives.*. Skip reading about his failed romances.*. Don't bother seeing his fall from stud to outcast at the hands of an evil cheerleader.*. Forget about solving the mystery of what happened to the Outlaw Calico Hoss.*. Don't watch him try to connect all of these things together while listening in on a Sex Ed class.*. *We're sincerely hoping that reverse psychology works. Should it fail what we really mean to say is: Please please please read this book.