You Auto-Complete Me

<p>Emily is back in this complete rewrite of The Year My Life Went Down the Loo. Told in text messages You Auto-Complete Me updates the tale of now-adult Emily her year spent in England and all her friends.</p><p>EMSTER What you're not here?<br /><em>DRU I'm here. What's up buttercup?</em><br />EMSTER I have things to tell you!<br /><em>DRU So tell. I was sext...er...texting the BF.</em><br />EMSTER !!!<br /><em>DRU J/K. Dish sister.</em><br />EMSTER Reasons why my life has gone to hell in a handbasket:<br />In debt up to my armpits due to having to work off paying for ex-boss's car.<br /><em>DRU Shouldn't have hit that cop car huh?</em><br />EMSTER Forced to give up adorable apartment to live back with the parents while I pay off ex-boss' car.<br /><em>DRU Also shouldn't have lipped off to the judge who garnished your wages.</em><br />EMSTER Forced to go with very same parents to England for a year.<br /><em>DRU Dude.</em><br />EMSTER OK that's not really bad but I'm on a roll. Humor me.<br />EMSTER Biggest reason life is messed up: Friends with Benefits Fang isn't around to indulge in benefitting.<br /><em>DRU You got me there. But cheer up little Emily - life can't get any worse can it?</em></p><p> </p>