You...Trump!

<p><strong>What if a self-help book was written by a delusional president... about himself?</strong></p><p>You...Trump! is the ultimate parody of power ego and gold-plated denial - a satirical masterclass in becoming the loudest wrongest version of yourself.</p><p><strong>Across 28 Disasters you'll learn how to:</strong></p><ul><li>Demand applause from furniture</li><li>Sue smoothies for emotional sabotage</li><li>Trademark grief and sell it back to your followers</li><li>Fire people for blinking</li><li>Build a cult call it a brand and monetize denial</li></ul><p>It's not a biography. It's not journalism. It's not even fair. It's a full-blown survival guide for the Age of Narcissism™ - featuring Negotiator Trump™ Tech Trump™ Spiritual Trump™ Superhero Trump™ and many more.</p><p><br><strong>WHAT'S INSIDE THE BOOK:</strong></p><ul><li>28 satirical lessons (Disasters) from the many faces of Trump-inspired madness</li><li>The Lost Chapter™ - a mythical godlike Trump prequel you never asked for</li><li>Glossary of Greatness™ - a Trump-to-English decoder packed with original satire</li><li>Are You...Trump!? - a hilarious personality quiz for diagnosing delusion</li><li>Self-Written Mythology™ Mandatory Gratitude™ and a Final Poetic Warning™</li></ul><p><strong>WHO THIS BOOK IS FOR:</strong></p><ul><li>Fans of The Onion Don't Look Up Thank You for Smoking and political satire</li><li>Readers who love absurd humor with real cultural critique</li><li>Anyone who's ever screamed at the news then laughed about it</li><li>Humans seeking a guide to not becoming a monument to narcissism</li><li>Gift-givers shopping for fans of chaos comedy or clever destruction of ego</li></ul><p><strong>EARLY PRAISE (FROM IMAGINARY AWARD SHOWS):</strong></p><ul><li>Most Humble Griever in History - GriefWick™ Awards</li><li>Best Use of the Word 'Best' - EchoBlare™ Review Board</li><li>Lifetime Achievement in Delusional Branding - Trophy Trump™ Gala</li></ul><p><strong>THIS IS A JOKE. SERIOUSLY. A JOKE.</strong><br>This book is a work of parody and satire. It is not intended to defame insult or harm anyone. All events characters meltdowns and mirror lawsuits are exaggerated for comedic and cultural commentary.</p><p>Don't be You...Trump!. Read it. Laugh. Then try being better.<br>Available now in paperback hardcover and eBook formats.</p><p><em>Blessed Be the Delusion</em></p>